24 Dec – 21 Dec 17
Everything I had accomplished from the earlier parts of #theROYCEproject was put to the test last August. I just got out of my first semester in law school, and while not all of it was pretty, I got through it. A month into it, I was so close to giving up. I knew what giving up felt like, and as much as I hated that feeling, I equally hated how difficult school was, and I had no other choice but to go through it. For a while, I hated myself, too, because I should not have been feeling that way. From my five days in the last law school I went to, I had a taste of how hard it was going to be, and I spent a whole year preparing myself mentally, and convincing myself that it only gets worse from there.
I also thought of how grateful I should have felt. So many others would kill to be in my position. Not a lot of us get to go to law school in the first opportunity, let alone a second one. I owe it to the people who support me to do well. While this was not the best line of thinking, I went with whatever would make me stay because I also wanted to do it for myself. This is what would make me happy. This is why I’ve been stepping on weighing scales, jumping off mountains, stripping down to my underwear for a photo shoot—I needed to do this, and I did. Well, the first semester, at least. I’ve started to enjoy it, too, because after midterms, I found that I was pretty good at it. I don’t regret leaving the first law school I went to. It took whatever I went through—leaving, spending a year depressed, and doing something about it—to believe that I am capable of doing things I thought I couldn’t do.